I feel as though I'm outgrowing this blog as a place for poetry only.

Time for a change. I really wanted to be more creative this year, but morning sickness derailed my attempts at craftiness. A few days left until Christmas, and I am lamenting the fact that I do not have a handmade Christmas. News flash: I am NOT Martha Stewart. A girl can still dream. On a more positive note, I have been cooking more. The only problem is that I end up eating most of what I make, since it is not gourmet enough for my family. The baby has been moving around more and more, which is awesome. The other day we had a Josh Nunez song on in the car, and the baby was really active throughout the entire song. I guess the baby is a fan! I am 20 weeks now, and I feel fat!!! I guess that's just part of pregnancy.

time.

such a mockery of everything perceived and achieved.

nothing can withstand this force.

no one is exempt.

we rant and race against the effects,

but there is no stopping this.

we hope that it's passing will lesson our sorrows.

often times they only increase with each painful moment.

we can run to the sun,

and find that we have only pushed ourselves further 

into the inevitable blackhole.

time.

little red riding hood

my cloak is fastened,

my basket full;

off to grandmother's house i go.

never wondering what may lurk 

in corners and shadows along the way.

i sing and skip and make my way,

innocently observing the wonders of the mysterious wood.

i was warned of diversions,

but this is such a pretty path.

the flowers intoxicate,

the colors entice,

this is certain harmony.

a new friend emerges.

i am eager to play.

this journey is long, 

my basket so heavy,

there can't be anything wrong with innocent conversation.

i always divulge too much.

it's my pure heart that gets the best of me.

the stranger scurries, leaving me alone,

taunting and challenging me in ways i am unfamiliar.

i accept.

i am no coward.

i race,

i burn.

i will not be undone.

i am strong, 

a natural fighter.

i rejoice at my accomplishment

as i enter the comfortable cottage.

sweet satisfaction tickles me,

i am among those that love.

eerie emotions pierce me

as i navigate about the room.

something is out of context.

incorrect.

grandmother.

where are you?

why am i suddenly chilled?

a flash of light,

a fearful cry,

i am swallowed,

consumed.

not so noble,

after all,

this trusting heart that betrays the mind.

how long will i linger

in the pit of one so eager to devour?

when will my rescuer set me free?

catch

words. 

all i have.

all that you've given.

they taunt and tease my simple mind.

i never know what you really mean.

too many metaphors cloud my sight.

will curiosity devour my very soul?

you invade again with persuasive lips.

i am open.

completely free.

i catch fire as i listen.

say it again.

pry me apart.

lyrics and rhymes ignite inside me.

flames lick my eager thighs,

enrapture my chest,

my heart.

i am reduced to ashes within minutes.

all you ever do is talk.

starlet

you step out into the light, severing our heart strings. nothing remains for us to find. i see you mount with wings and float gingerly upon the current. i realise that i have been left behind. i am stationary, rooted deep within this rich earth. i cannot follow you wherever go. i meditate on you: your smile, your scent, the strength of your rugged hands. thoughts to torture, i mean console, in desperate times. i wish you well in your eager pursuit of life. i desire all the best for you, and resignedly accept the futility of my fate. the waters will rage, ravaging and engulfing me. i see the sight before i even smell the rain. beauty is devastation. what glamour will be eternally mine?

ursa

red ribbons. 

black ties. 

thorns and vultures complete the decadence. 

we proceed ever onward

knowing not what the future has in store.

crystal glasses.

silken veils.

such a beautiful masquerade.

memories lucidly compel us further into the night.

we are stark.

silent.

brilliant against the ominous sky.

we flicker as we ascend.

just we two. 

noone else illuminates as they fly.

we glitter and we nod at the world below.

who will look up to acknowledge the magnitude of souls who combust, 

a miraculous sight?

guideposts.

limelights.

perfect, peaceful dreams. 

just you and i.

shut

i am striving for your affection. you turn me off and walk away. what should i do with such rejection? how do i continue in the aftermath of your kiss? your hands, once warm and comforting, now close and pull away. how did i offend you? was it something in my speech? maybe something left unsaid? i hear your whispering voice. i know you are with someone else. warming a body other than my own with your delicate caresses that soothe the soul. i am shut out. left to struggle in the dark, cold streets when i should be in your home. there are no lights on the horizon. a delicate mist descends as the wind blazenly blows. i swallow and admit that i am finally alone.

renewal

there's nothing like starting anew after a really trying spell with yourself. sometimes the battle is so fierce that you want to give in from sheer exhaustion, yet something compels you to carry on. the body refuses to die, even when the conscious has lost all will to live. it is after trials such as these that we find ourselves washed onto the sandy shores of some distant land where the currents have carried our listless shells. we wake up to notice that we are, in fact, alive. there are exciting sights and possibilities to explore. all hope is not lost. we have stumbled into something fresh. we alight with hope, strengthen our resolve, and lick our swollen, salty lips to taste again the delicacy of renewal.

shadow

am i invisible? do people just look on through me without recognizing that i am even there? the pain of abandonment reverberates within. it is pointless to struggle, this feeling remains. i can't eat. i can't sleep. breathing is a test when i go unnoticed by you. you, of all people, when you know who i really am. you have caught hold of my shadow and pulled me into the light. you have let the sun illuminate my fragile outline. but now you forsake me, you throw me away. i must have been nothing to you, a cheap thrill.  darkness clouds my dimming eyes. i am passing through to shadow. i will rise again from the ashes. i will have my revenge for this lack of love. as i fade my image ultimately disappears. i am no longer invisible. i have triumphed over life.

glance

he had his arm wrapped neatly around her shoulder. they were all huddled  in the midst of a rather large group of friends. i couldn't help staring at them. it was sensory overload, and they were the most appealing objects in sight. the lady in front of me prattled on, but i was overcome by this couple. he smiled as he caught my eye. i realized for the first time how deeply i had been observing them. i was rather embarrassed. i forced myself to look away. his girl turned and smiled, her auburn hair billowing lightly with every move she made. perfection. i ended my conversation and walked away, knowing that such bliss would never be mine. 

squander

why is it wrong to be inconsistent? i have labored for years to surmount these crags in my nature, but all to no avail. these flaws may be my undoing. i am helpless to resist. where else can i go? if i surrender to the undertow is my demise certain? i am not sure that i can withstand the force, even though it may conclude in my doom. were that i could mold  satin wings and fly beyond these trials. alas, the tears that remain have covered my tracks. i must set off, damp and undone, in pursuit of something, though i know not what. endurance, don't fail me now, for it is likely  a long swim ahead.