squander

why is it wrong to be inconsistent? i have labored for years to surmount these crags in my nature, but all to no avail. these flaws may be my undoing. i am helpless to resist. where else can i go? if i surrender to the undertow is my demise certain? i am not sure that i can withstand the force, even though it may conclude in my doom. were that i could mold  satin wings and fly beyond these trials. alas, the tears that remain have covered my tracks. i must set off, damp and undone, in pursuit of something, though i know not what. endurance, don't fail me now, for it is likely  a long swim ahead.