spring break

our three days of spring are nearly over. technically speaking, the kids have a week, but corey wants us to start getting the house market ready as soon as we get home tomorrow. we have painting, packing, planting, and all sorts of things in store for us upon our return from stephenville.
the vacation has been wonderful. the kids have been living their huck finn/ tom sawyer fantasies out here. they have been fishing, riding horses, exploring the land, examining tracks, and all sorts of back to nature things.
i enjoy watching andrew, in particular, because this seems to give him a measure of peace that i have never noticed in him. he seems so grown up and free. he did more horseback riding than anna did, which surprised us all. he just got up on scooter and meandered around the yard. barefoot even.
this knowledge does cause a bit of anxiety in me about moving to the suburbs. we will be saving money, but at a cost. i'm not convinced that we will truly eliminate the whole 'being stuck between two worlds' ordeal, because living in the country gives us a different perspective than those living in the city. it is not much different than being different than the people we live with in the country because we have a different, sometimes more progressive world view. we may just have the 'odd man out' syndrome regardless.
we went to dinosaur valley state park today. i feel so complete in open country like that. it makes me feel connected to "my ancestors." corey likes to tease me aboput this, but it is what it is. i feel connected to my native roots when i get out in the wild. a weird thing happens to me, though; i get really restless. i have a terrible time staying out in nature for more than 3 hours at a stretch. it doesn't matter if it's a state park, the folk festival, the river, the lake, the beach, the park, i have to go after a couple of hours. i am praying about this. it doesn't seem right. what is causing this restlessness, this anxiety about something that fills me up so completely?
off to bed now. hopefully i will get a chance to watch the sunrise again.we leave for home after lunch time, and we want to get up early enough to fit in as much as we can before we leave.