peach pickin'

finally had time to upload the pictures from our peach pickin' excursion in fredericksburg, texas. it was nice to be out with the family. we went to a small, family run orchard where it was like picking fruit in some body's rather large back yard.

something you may not know about peach trees is that they are crawling with these green tinted beetle, about the size of a wasp. these beetles sporadically fly towards you as you enter the shade of the tree. we were all quite startled by these little bugs. we were also relieved to find that they weren't wasps.

we weren't sure whether or not we should even head to the orchard on this particular day. the weather was so odd, with a pattern of rain for a couple of minutes then sun shining the next. the sky was rather ominous. i changed my mind three times before we finally proceeded. corey determined that, if nothing else, at least we would get a road trip out of the deal. the day was great. it sprinkled a little bit right before we reached the farm, but otherwise it was a beautiful day. by the time we left the area we were sweating terribly. the sun was victorious, in the end.

fredericksburg is so much fun. andrew found a gun/cowboy store, which was right up his alley. there were antique guns, toy guns, and semi-automatic weapons in the midst of a small western apparel shop. it was rather bizarre. there is a cool toy store around the corner from there. they have lots of nostalgic toys, as well as gags and novelties. my mom and i found the scrapbook store, which always equals trouble. i found some russian nesting doll chipboard accessories. score!

we didn't have a whole day to spend, but we had a wonderful time, none the less. now i have to get on the jam making bandwagon. it has been five days now, so the peaches are good and ripe.

John Lennon & Yoko Ono: Give Peace A Chance

this is my heart today: give peace a chance. how can we calm the rage and turmoil within that causes us to respond with violence? what balm exists to soothe the human soul? if we seek not a solution to the human condition, little hope exists for our kind. i will seek to bring peace and light to the world today, whilst examining my own errant ways. peace can exist. it is not easy. there are examples out there of others who have worked to bring peace on earth. the effort still impacts others if it is only one person strong, but a greater number impacts the world in a greater way. what can you do to give peace a chance today?

more

i’m trying to work it all out. to come to some conclusion about just what it means for me to live. to be okay with who i am- with all of my faults and deficiencies, yet not without strengths and beauties, as well. i’m tired of comparing myself to other people who always seem to be more than i am. more beautiful. more polite. more godly. more together. cleaner. more organized. sweeter. more thoughtful. a better wife. a better mother. what a disciple of christ really is. more healed. more. more. more. so much to try to live up to, knowing that you never really can. when is it enough to be satisfied with life as i know it? when can i settle for all that i really am. it doesn’t really seem like it should be this hard. for some, maybe it isn’t. i am extremely discontented with living for other people’s views of what my life should be. we all have our ideas, our convictions, our idealogoies, our codes. but in the end, that’s all they are...codes. we can live by them or not, but they don’t do much to change our true nature. so maybe i have a code that i need to live by, but that does not mean that i need to project my standards onto you, for whom they may be perfectly inadequate. we each have to live for that which we find imperative. we each have one life, one chance, one responsibilty; that is unto ourselves. if i focus on what is right for you, i fail to operate that which is mine. i therefore forfeit my life for one that is not my own. all such activity has become a real bore. i want to live for me, my life. the opinions and codes of others exist, but i must reconcile myself to a lifestyle that is worth living. no longer do others get to live for me. i remain responsible for myself. in a sense, we are all masters of the universe; modern day he-men, if you will. our destinies lie in our hands, if we will take charge of them. this is not a life absent of accountabliity, but, rather, a placing of that accountability into the most proper hands. in god i must abide. to god i must account. my conscience must be clean before him. to love him and to love others does not mean that others have permission to predetermine my life. it is my own. they must determine how they will carry out their own lives. mine is not their business. i anticipate the moments when this will be fulfilled in my life. when i can rise upon currents and soar in the sky. until then i must wait for the strength to find my wings against the parade of beckoners assuring me that i have no right to look for them, much less to fly.

welcoming to the stage: elijah gray winfield.

commonly referred to as:

elijah the gray

mister, mister

lijah bear

eli

lije

mr. wonderful

handsome honey

big business boy.

it's so much fun having a new addition. how did we ever manage without him?

new arrival

having a life inside of you for nine months is a beautiful, unexplainable gift. you begin to live for something other than yourself. you find that something ancient awakens in your soul. love in it's most unadulterated form springs forth from your being with luminescent purity so surreal that you wonder if you are suspended in some sort of a dream. motherhood is blissful, despite the physical demands a new life brings; overlooking the hormonal tidal waves you and those around you must endure. the wonder of motherhood can in no way prepare you, however, for unforeseen complications that may arise with your precious new arrival. before now we were completely unaware of the harrowing hardships that many struggle to face when their child is born in a less than perfect way. having the person so neatly united with you swept away is unimaginable. even though you know that the life of your child depends on the intensive care they are receiving, the ache, the hollowness does not dull in the absence of their presence, even if for their own good. it leaves you wondering if your perfect dream was only the beginning of a bitter nightmare with no end. reality fades into obscurity. you hope for the best whilst swallowing your biggest fears. so it is to have a birth with complications. you console yourself with the fact that somebody else has it worse than you do, but you can never deny the physical evidence that this less than blissful event is taking it's toll on your life. you try to carry on. keep it together. put one foot in front of the other. to survive. survival is the best you can do. you anxiously wait for reports that assure you of nothing. you plead inside yourself for any glint of good news. two things you may not have even known you have emerge as heroic figures that guide your day. faith and hope stand guard at the post of your failing heart. without them you would expire. they may be all that is keeping you alive.

syniki

I have been craving this dish for a while, particularly the last few days. At eight months pregnant I can't very well fly off to Moscow for a meal, so I began searching the internet. I couldn't find the name of the dish, Syrniki, since on the menu in Moscow we had only seen the words Russian Cheesecakes. Finally, through a blog, cheatingcook.wordpress, I found the name and a recipe to try. This morning I will attempt to make them. The only problem being that I do not have the Russian curd cheese, or even cottage cheese. Perhaps cream cheese will be a suitable substitute. I'm off to whip up a batch!

I feel as though I'm outgrowing this blog as a place for poetry only.

Time for a change. I really wanted to be more creative this year, but morning sickness derailed my attempts at craftiness. A few days left until Christmas, and I am lamenting the fact that I do not have a handmade Christmas. News flash: I am NOT Martha Stewart. A girl can still dream. On a more positive note, I have been cooking more. The only problem is that I end up eating most of what I make, since it is not gourmet enough for my family. The baby has been moving around more and more, which is awesome. The other day we had a Josh Nunez song on in the car, and the baby was really active throughout the entire song. I guess the baby is a fan! I am 20 weeks now, and I feel fat!!! I guess that's just part of pregnancy.